�Im having a hard time with everything right now, I really dont know what to do. Im not happy with myself and I dont know what it is but i just cant get past it. Everyone around me is always so happy and laughing and having fun while im sitting and watching just thinking of how jealous or envious i am of them. I know this sounds bad and Im not the kind of person that always has to have a boyfriend, well because Iapos;ve never had one, but for some reason I just want someone to hold me and love me for me. I know it sounds selfish and dont get me wrong my family is awesome and they love me but I just want that different kind of love. I keep trying to tell myself itapos;ll happen when its supposed to but im getting tired of telling myself that and not believing it. I guess Im just a depressed person, I dont know how to fix it either, I hate school, i hate work, im never home and I miss my downtime and the fun I had over the summer. When the friends i had left went away to school everything started to suck. I miss them way too much. I lost my best friend because of a stupid situation that I had nothing to do with but she refused to believe it and i miss her. Iapos;ve been told that im too nice, i dont say no when i should and people have def. Taken advantage of me in the past. It sucks. �I dont know what to do and now im just venting. I dont even know if any of this is making sense. Ughh....i have no self-esteem or self-confidence. Im very depressed and i cant fix it...i dont want to sound selfish cuz i know people have it worse but life sucks monkies. So now im going to watch tv and fall asleep only to get up for another crappy day at freakin school. Ughhh....
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